TEENAGE PARTIES
The best advice for parents of teenagers is:
Don’t leave home for the weekend without planning supervision for your teen!
But, because this is sometimes unavoidable or undesirable, consider any and all possibilities of what could happen while you are away and act accordingly.
Pre-Party Preparations:
· Know your teenager’s party plans in advance.
· Find out who is expected to attend. Let your teen know that uninvited guests will not be tolerated. It is very common in the San Ramon Valley for uninvited guests to show up.
· Phone parents of the teens you don’t know well.
· Set a starting time and an ending time. Make sure that the party doesn’t go too long.
· Always consider noise ordinances (each area has these) if you are going to have a party outside.
· Be aware that in most cities the nighttime noise ordinances take effect at 10:00 PM.
· Having parties in a public place (skating rink, clubhouse, pool) usually works well for younger teens.
Ground Rules - Set ground rules ahead of time.
· Let neighbors know about the party plans
· No smoking
· No drugs or alcohol
· Only invited guests are allowed
· No leaving the party and coming back
· All guests should know which rooms in the house or areas around the house are off-limits
· Guests must agree to keep all areas reasonably lit.
· No loitering outside of the party premises (This includes the front yard and the streets.)
Parent/Chaperone Responsibilities and Obligations
· Adult in charge (hopefully “you”) must know the legalities and responsibilities of minors using illegal substances and the ramifications to the adult(s) in charge. A violation of California Penal Code Section 272 makes the adult subject to one year in jail or a $2500 fine.
· Parent/Chaperone should be aware of what’s going on at all times.
· Be aware of the sobriety of arriving teenagers. (It would not be a first for teens to decide to drink in advance of arrival.)
· Invite your adult friends or other adult parents to help maintain safety, making it a safe and fun event.
· Make an effort to have parents of teenage guests come in to meet you when they drop off their young adults.
· Expect “games” to be played. (At least one teenager at the party—not your own, of course—will try to outwit the adult supervision.)
Parties Outside of Your Home
· Make every effort to contact the adults in charge of the party.
· Ask what their “Ground Rules” are.
· Offer to assist if this fits into your plans.
· Be sure you specifically ask about alcohol. Don’t assume that all parents will take the same precautions you would take.
· Talk to your teenager in advance about your expectations around a ride home, curfew, alcohol, and drugs.
· Be sure you feel comfortable with the location of the party and the people in attendance.
· Make every effort to introduce yourself to the adults in charge at the party site.
· Make sure a responsible adult is in attendance.
PROM TIME
Tips for a Safe & Sober Prom
· Be aware of the celebration plans for before and after the prom/ball. Sometimes this requires a whole series of questions. Let your teen know that you are excited about the prom/ball too, and that you care enough to want to know all of the plans.
· Talk to the parents of your teen’s friends. Your teen will be only too happy to tell you that all the other parents think the celebration plans are great! You may be surprised to know that the other parents share the same concerns that you have – remember strength comes in numbers.
· Question the time allotted to get to the prom/ball and back. Maybe you were not informed about all the celebration plans.
· Celebrations can start during the trip to the prom/ball and continue on the way home. Make sure the bus and limo companies understand that they are transporting minors and that their licensing is in jeopardy if they allow the use of alcohol or drugs. It is important to insist that they have all the backpacks and other baggage stored in the luggage compartment during the trip. If your teen is traveling by van or motor home, find out who the driver is and confirm that they will enforce a “no use” rule, especially if it is an older sibling.
· If your teen’s plans include a group sleepover following the prom/ball, be sure you know where it is and who is chaperoning. (You may want to volunteer a shift.) In the past, hotel rooms and resort homes have been acquired to continue the celebration and there is usually no chaperone. If your teen feels it is important to attend a sleepover, suggest they use your home and plan to stay up all night to chaperone, be available to address any needs and encourage some sleep time.
· If your teen is planning a post-celebration event the next day or returning from an overnight celebration, find out if the driver is going to be well rested and alert. You may want to suggest renting a bus or setting up parent car pools to drive back and forth.
· Some schools require a signed parent/student prom/ball contract before tickets can be purchased. Find out about your school’s policy.
· There is no such thing as a junior or senior “Cut Day” and teachers will be delivering the scheduled lesson plans or giving the planned tests.
· If you hear about any potential problems or have any concerns, please call your school principal.
POLICE POLICY
And Protocol Around Parties and Proms
· The legal age for drinking is 21 years old.
· The legal age for smoking is 18 years old.
· All other substances are probably illegal.
· In some circumstances, the police have the authority to search private property when there is suspicion that alcohol or drugs are present. Arrests can be made or citations issued. Initial fines may reach $1000 – check with your local police department for specifics.
· Police will be called if the party or event is too loud or if participants spill out into the front yard or street.
· Serving alcohol to teenagers on your own property is illegal. Adults can be prosecuted for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Adults may be found guilty of a misdemeanor, and subject to a fine or jail, or both.
· People who serve alcohol to minors or allow minors to consume it in their homes may be subject to civil lawsuits if the minor’s activities after that drinking result in damage or injury to another person.
·
· Additionally, adults “in-charge” may be financially responsible for all costs incurred by the police department in dealing with the incident or party.
· It is against the law for minors to possess or purchase alcohol, be drunk in a public place, or carry alcoholic beverages in a vehicle.
· The legal consequences for an older teenager (18 and over) will usually differ from the way matters for a younger teenager are handled in the Juvenile Justice System. Discuss this with your older teenager and allow them to do some research on their own (through proper sources).
· Hotels in the area are aware of their liability for allowing under-aged drinkers on their premises.
· Likewise, limousine and bus companies are aware that they could have their licenses suspended for allowing consumption of alcoholic beverages by teenagers in their vehicles.
· More than half of all fatal injuries to 16-19 year old drivers and passengers occur at nighttime as a result of drinking and driving, according to the Insurance Institute of Highway Safety.
Communicating With Your Teenager
· The most important link between you and your teenager is open communication. Talk to your teenager about how to handle uncomfortable situations.
· Frequently the lines of communication will be open at their fullest when the teenager returns home from a party – no matter how late. Be awake to talk to your teen when they arrive home.
· Allow your teenager to use you as an excuse – to refuse an invitation or to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
· Always let your teenager know that if they find themselves in an uncomfortable situation that you or a designated adult friend will be there to pick them up at any time without question.
The bottom line is that you do not want your child to ride in a vehicle with anyone who is under the influence, nor do you want your child to drive while under the influence.
You can reach your police department at the following numbers:
San Ramon Police 973-2700 Dispatch 228-8282
Danville Police 314-3410 Dispatch 820-2144
*Sheriff’s Department Martinez Dispatch *646-2441
*Alamo, Diablo, Blackhawk and all unincorporated areas
Resources begin on page 136, Web Sources on 165
